Modest Mouse (One Chance)

So. I've got some really funny friends. Involving three council members, some drums and some war paint. And one very scared individual. Who quickly bolted. Who will suffer the E-JIHAD.

Oooh... I hear the drums beating again in the distance... it's started.

I really like the E-JIHAD, nice touch. Which really means flooding the evil doer's mailbox with penis enlargement spam until said evil doer repents and renounces the heresy that she hath wroth! I didn't get dressed in a robe and put on war paint for nuthin' you know?

I kinda feel excited for the weekend. I don't have any plans, but something tells me that something's gonna happen. I'm like totally in tune with the universe right now and she's a telling me a Marc, you a gots to have a some o my lasagna a! (in her Italian accent). When she makes lasagna, it's good.

I dunno, maybe things have been happening lately that have been pushing me along. Like when you hit puberty and there's this sudden growth spurt and suddenly you're thinking - girls have boobs. Yes, an enlightened mind. Well anyway, it's like right after the breakup I went through this whole phase where I just pushed and pushed. Then things settled down a bit. And now I think it's time for another round of pushing. We'll see how it goes.

Once again I feel scared, terrified, excited, thrilled.

I was talking to Jolly the other day and he told me the secret to happiness. He said lower your expectations. Hehehe. I don't want to have everything. I just wanna be happy. Some people just don't get that. I kinda feel sorry for them. But then again I might be wrong. Maybe they will be happy with everything they ever wanted. But that's kinda hard I think. When do you say enough is enough? People just keep on wanting more and more. Demand is insatiable. Maybe people just need to keep out of other people's business to begin with. My bad.

Here comes another poker analogy, get ready. It's like, when you've reached the final table in a long ass tourney. You've played your game pretty well, tight aggressive I'd like to think. And it's down to you and your opponent for a showdown. You've got the chip lead and your opponent is shortstacked. You can feel the end is near. The correct play would be to breathe. Calm yourself. Relax. Don't let your guard down. Don't be cocky. Don't be foolish. Play your cards and be patient. In the end, whether you win or lose, just be happy with the decisions you've made. A newbie will see so many possibilities and choices to make, a master will only see a few.

I was reading the zen of poker today.... it's so fucking cool.

Anyway, I went out with some officemates I wasn't really close to last week. I had more fun than I expected! We hung out in C. Palanca where one of the a.e.s sings in an acoustic band. She's not bad at all. It was kinda weird at first seeing this person from a purely professional standpoint change so abruptly. I also got to know them much better and they're actually pretty cool. Like me. Heh. Kidding. Maybe we'll go out again this week. I'm really glad I went and took a chance.

PMS

Shit. No wakeboarding tomorrow. S'okay though. I did some good work tonight. As usual, we're the only team here burning the midnight oil. My evaluation's coming up. My boss said I did great. I'd jump for joy if wasn't really tired. I'm smiling though and it's cool. And even if I don't get to go out much (missed poker tonight and wakeboarding tom.) I feel immensely satisfied. She was really happy with the tvcs I wrote and she's not an easy woman to please. Minor revisions, I can deal with that. But the concepts were aces and on the money. Phew, what a relief.

Chris and Rye are going to the states next week, hopefully when they come back, they'll be bringing me lightsaber. \m/ woot! I ordered the anakin episode III lightsaber. It's so cool I can't fucking wait.

Yesterday I met up with Earl and the fam for his bday dinner at Italianis. I got him a game for his gameboy advance. Shaman King 2. He's really into it. I'm so glad. I don't wanna be the kind of brother who gives him stuff that suck. We've all experienced that, where we get gifts that just totally suck. Like socks or something. I've gotten my share of socks. Although if someone gave me socks today I'd be glad cuz my socks have holes in 'em. heh. Who has time for these things? Which reminds me, I need shampoo. Thank god for Rustans Supermarket. Going back, yeah he totally digged my gift. Koko rocks. I'm still his hero. I'm still cool. I was in danger though cuz I was walking around toy kingdom looking at toys to get him. The toys they had were kinda corny and the cool toys that were there were a little too adult. Like the McFarlane stuff which aren't really playable, more for display than anything else. Kids need toys they can play with, it's all about the articulation baby! Thanks to Jen actually for giving me the idea of the game. But I still chose which game, hah! Gotta be in tune with what the kids are into these days. Slowly I can feel my age creepin' in on me, like a thief in the night. Sucking away me youtes.

So when we got to Italianis, we sat and ordered and were in the middle of appetizers when I got this strange note from the waiter. I was like, what the hell? So I read it immediately. I shall read as it was written, "Hi Marc! So nice to see you again. I can't believe you've gotten even cuter since I last saw you. Hope you can come over to say hi to me :) Your secret admirer p.s. I'm sitting at your 9 o' clock at the end of the long table in front of the tv :)" Of course I panicked. I look over expecting the worst only to find it's my old friend Tj. Fucker. Gave me a fucking heart attack. Bastard. Nice to see him though, we talked for a while, talked to his wife (who's birthday dinner it was too) and saw pictures of their baby girl. We exchanged numbers and I got back to eatin'. The service is really good over there. It's the one in Mega, tucked away to the side.

After dinner me and Earl walked around a bit, I looked at the Adidas shoes (again for the umpteenth time) I love those shoes and would probably have bought them a long time ago if they weren't so friggin' expensive. 5 grand for a pair of sneaks? C'mon! They're really nice though. Every time we see an Adidas store, Earl knows that we're going in. They make great lookin' shoes. Anyway I didn't buy them... yet. One day though, I'm gonna have a bad day and the first thing I'm gonna do is go to Adidas and charge it. Hah I feel like such a woman. :)

I'll PMS all over your shit.

3 Things

My yeye is ok na and in other news... I won in the poker tourney last saturday!!! Wahoo! :) OMG I love poker. I just have to tell you about my last hand, the hand that put me out of the second game. (I won the first, reached the final table with a showdown with Andy) I was shortstacked and Mar had just been busted out. I got a K5 offsuit so I decided to play it. everyone folded except the girl to my left who had position on me. The flop came AK5 rainbow. W00t! I just scored a 2 pair on the flop. Needless to say, I went all in. Girl called and we showed cards. She had an A7. She paired the ace on the board. So I was mini-celebrating in my head when the turn came... a 7!!!! Fuuuckk!!! River didn't help me. But it was a great game and I was really happy with how I played. Man I thought I had her beat, but that's poker. I can't wait 'til the next time. You can check out pics of where we play on my friendster. It's the JGPT. 'Course now I got semi-bragging rights for winning there twice. I have to say, both wins were lucky. But my second win required more skill and a lot of patience. All my reading and studying is paying off to the amount of P600! W00t! That's cause for celebration right there. I can't believe I beat Cheps and Jaz fair and square, they are great players and are far better students of the game. The way I play it, as long as I'm happy with the decisions I make I'll be ok.

Poker talk. Get used to it.

I have a big accomplishment today. I finally wrote an RC that my boss really liked. Yeah! I've always had hesitations when writing RCs cuz I know it's totally not my strongest point. But finally I cracked it. Even though I'm pretty sure the client will hate it, I'm still happy that I got my boss' approval. The past couple of weeks I've been a little hard on myself for not coming up with good writing and I think my boss was getting a bit impatient with me. So this is a big sigh of relief. Like I redeemed myself. She said, "Good, you're learning. That's how to crack it." Awe-some. At least now I know I'm progressing.

I'm like this close to getting a new phone (finally!) As soon as they have stock of the Sony Ericsson k750i eet ees miiine. I'm all paid for an' shit. Just waitin' for the man to come a knockin' on mah door. I can't wait to try out the 2 mega pixel camera and have cool ring tones. OOhhh just thinking about it.... I think it's perfect for me. I don't really need a phone/mp3 player cuz I already have my iPod mini, it's got a camera with flash with cover for the lens and it's small. Plus I'm getting it on the cheap! I'm only paying 6 grand for it, I got a deal espesyal for me and me only from Globe. Bwahahahaha!

Hard work, patience and a bit of luck. Everything is so much sweeter when you've earned it.

Blood in, blood out

I didn't think it would be, but it was.

I got a call from dad last night just as I finished dinner that yeye was in the hospital. He had water in his lungs. I went straight to makati med to the 7th floor. When I got there the door was locked. The nurse station said they were in the kidney unit where they do dialysis. As I walked to the 5th floor, there many things were running through my mind. This can't be it. Not yet. I pushed open the door and saw my ngen ngen at the foot of the bed. Yeye was hooked up to this incredibly complicated looking machine with lots of buttons. Now I know why they don't allow children inside. The strange looking lights, knobs and dials all seemed to call to me "push me". I kept these impulses in check though as I asked what happened.

They were in the hospital earlier in the day for an x-ray to test the density of his bones. While they were there, he felt something weird happening in his stomach and was also short of breath. The nurse insisted that they have a look since they were there anyway and discovered the water in the lungs. He immediately underwent the dialysis procedure which took about 3 hours. 1 1/2 hours to take out the water and another 1 1/2 hours to clean the blood.

I stood beside him as the blood moved in and out of the transparent tubes attached to his arm and tried to make small talk. I found myself smiling more than usual when we spoke. I know the last thing I would want to see if I was in his position was a bunch of unhappy faces. So I did my best to make him feel alright even if I was scared. My eyes fail me sometimes though. I could tell he was scared too. I stood there for a while and after I sat down with ngen ngen to get more details. It was then that I realized how strong my grandma is.

Last night was his first dialysis and it might be that he'll have to do this 2 to 3 times a week. I can't imagine how hard that's going to be. Each time could take up to 4 hours per session. I'm just in a state of disbelief.

I also realized how selfish I could be. I kept thinking how all this was going to affect me. It was a slap in the face. When they'd go abroad and I was alone in the house, I didn't miss them at all. I didn't think I would care this much. You get so used to someone, you forget. I don't even wanna go there. I texted the cousins last night, they'll try to visit him today. I want him to know we care about him, even if the words can't seem to escape my lips. Even if I too scared to hold his hand.

He'll be ok.