The big house

Today feels like it went by so fast. I remember getting up from bed. Next thing I know, it's almost tomorrow. Where did the day go?

I still get those feelings of disconnect. I had one the other day. It totally threw me off. It only lasted for a moment but things like that can totally disrupt whatever it is you were doing. Well, maybe it's not really a disconnect, maybe more of disbelief. Like I can't believe I'm here. In this place. In this moment. Sometimes I get the feeling like I shouldn't even be here. Like, I should've died ages ago. And now, my body's been misplaced. Flashbacks of reincarnated selves perhaps?

I dunno. Maybe I'm schitzo. Wow. What if I did have multiple personalities? And those moments of disconnect are actually my other personalities trying to surface. Trying to grab some of my conscious real estate as it were. Nah. I knew it was still me. It's just that I didn't recognize the person I was just speaking to.

Or maybe it's like some instinctual self defense mech. Like a big neon sign inside my head suddenly switched on with the words "run" in hot pink. But I didn't run. Because these are just moments. Moments that I know will pass.

'Cause I been there. And I ain't goin' back.