Life makes you pay, but it's worth every lick
So I've been listening to this song called Long Time Coming by The Delays (courtesy of a very special animal) non-stop for the past hour or so. It's been keeping me company these few saturday night hours at the office. No, it's not like I'm in hell or anything. I feel kinda safe and comfortable here actually. Damn, does that make me a freak? Anyway, it's also a chance for me to get some quiet time to myself and write whatever I want. (which I've been reminding myself to do more of in fact) So anyway, I'm quite enamored by the song and if you do get the chance to listen to it, you'll see why.
So I was talking to my friend on the phone for a really long time and it was a really good conversation. You know when the phone's starting to burn in your ear and you end up in all sorts of contorted positions. Yea, that long. But it was good. Too bad it isn't going to lead to sex. Mostly because I'm not into guys. Heh. But it was good to connect and have something real and deep and honest. I loff my friends. I heart them. I heart them so much. So much that I'd do anything for them. 'Cept suck dick. Heh. Anyhow, I think I'm watching way too much porn. I was in the Starbuks the other day and saw this thermos there and I immediately thought, now hey, that could be a really good sex toy. With enough lubricant, you could... Yea, way too much. In any case, Porn (with a capital P) isn't sex. Real sex is way messier than that, way more awkward. And way funnier. Jeez, you should see the faces these people make when they're doing it. It's like, god you're a sex machine, you make me so mad and horny at the same time. I'm sure my face would just be a look of utter shock. Oh Marc, surely you jest. Whatever man.
So a while ago, I was at the world's longest buffet. T'was fun! It was like a mad meat market. Place was just a sea of hungry pigs and I was there man! This is our generation's Woodstock! This day shall be long remembered! We will forever be changed! One day we'll look back and tell our kids, kids we were there man. When they served the meatloaf and the chicken parmesan, I was there! I took a spoonful of that shit and I took it like a man. Didn't let nuthin' get 'tween me and mah chicken wings. I didn't even bother going back for seconds cuz it was just insane. The crowd was... there was a lot of people stuffing god knows what into their mouths. Crazy shit. Anyway, I wanted to get some dessert so I waded through and went to the nestle booth where they kept all the goodies. Thinking I was gonna walk away with a couple of popsicles maybe, I trudged on. When I got there I was met with an empty receptacle and the kind teary eyes of the booth lady clearly hanging on to her sanity by a thread. Poor girl, I asked, "wala na? It's only 8:30." then she burst into tears. I quickly made myself scarce. Then I saw the most beautiful signage of haagen daz I'd ever seen. I stepped into their cold and almost clinically clean store. Some people were already inside and were getting their scoops of ice cream. I said to no one in particular, "By jove! I've landed a goldmine! And not even a line! Me love it here. Me love it loooong time." I ordered one, no make that two! Two scoops of your finest cookie dough creame de la creames. You know what? Why don't you make that two scoops on two cones. Why the hell not ya? So the man handed me my two cones of ice cream and promptly said, "P400 sir." Wha-wha-whaaaat? B-but I.. I thought... "diba 'to free?" He gave me an apologetic smile that would have melted my heart if not for the ice cream slowly melting in my hands. "But what about those customers who were just in here? I didn't see them pay ya'll?!" He politely informed me that they were gentext members and were privileged to ONE free scoop of ice cream. Much to my chagrin, I neither had ONE scoop nor was I a gentext member. So I forked over my cash and took it up the ass. Fucker was worth every lick. I walked back to our table, melting ice cream in hand, with the biggest smile on my face.
You gotta be good. You gotta be good sometimes.
So I was talking to my friend on the phone for a really long time and it was a really good conversation. You know when the phone's starting to burn in your ear and you end up in all sorts of contorted positions. Yea, that long. But it was good. Too bad it isn't going to lead to sex. Mostly because I'm not into guys. Heh. But it was good to connect and have something real and deep and honest. I loff my friends. I heart them. I heart them so much. So much that I'd do anything for them. 'Cept suck dick. Heh. Anyhow, I think I'm watching way too much porn. I was in the Starbuks the other day and saw this thermos there and I immediately thought, now hey, that could be a really good sex toy. With enough lubricant, you could... Yea, way too much. In any case, Porn (with a capital P) isn't sex. Real sex is way messier than that, way more awkward. And way funnier. Jeez, you should see the faces these people make when they're doing it. It's like, god you're a sex machine, you make me so mad and horny at the same time. I'm sure my face would just be a look of utter shock. Oh Marc, surely you jest. Whatever man.
So a while ago, I was at the world's longest buffet. T'was fun! It was like a mad meat market. Place was just a sea of hungry pigs and I was there man! This is our generation's Woodstock! This day shall be long remembered! We will forever be changed! One day we'll look back and tell our kids, kids we were there man. When they served the meatloaf and the chicken parmesan, I was there! I took a spoonful of that shit and I took it like a man. Didn't let nuthin' get 'tween me and mah chicken wings. I didn't even bother going back for seconds cuz it was just insane. The crowd was... there was a lot of people stuffing god knows what into their mouths. Crazy shit. Anyway, I wanted to get some dessert so I waded through and went to the nestle booth where they kept all the goodies. Thinking I was gonna walk away with a couple of popsicles maybe, I trudged on. When I got there I was met with an empty receptacle and the kind teary eyes of the booth lady clearly hanging on to her sanity by a thread. Poor girl, I asked, "wala na? It's only 8:30." then she burst into tears. I quickly made myself scarce. Then I saw the most beautiful signage of haagen daz I'd ever seen. I stepped into their cold and almost clinically clean store. Some people were already inside and were getting their scoops of ice cream. I said to no one in particular, "By jove! I've landed a goldmine! And not even a line! Me love it here. Me love it loooong time." I ordered one, no make that two! Two scoops of your finest cookie dough creame de la creames. You know what? Why don't you make that two scoops on two cones. Why the hell not ya? So the man handed me my two cones of ice cream and promptly said, "P400 sir." Wha-wha-whaaaat? B-but I.. I thought... "diba 'to free?" He gave me an apologetic smile that would have melted my heart if not for the ice cream slowly melting in my hands. "But what about those customers who were just in here? I didn't see them pay ya'll?!" He politely informed me that they were gentext members and were privileged to ONE free scoop of ice cream. Much to my chagrin, I neither had ONE scoop nor was I a gentext member. So I forked over my cash and took it up the ass. Fucker was worth every lick. I walked back to our table, melting ice cream in hand, with the biggest smile on my face.
You gotta be good. You gotta be good sometimes.
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